Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Fantasy Football - Tips for Beginners

Rumor has it that I'm the resident Fantasy Football "guru" or "beast" or "one to be scared of". This is probably because I won our little bloggers league last year. I don't know that it really counts though, because half the managers weren't even paying attention. AHEM.

Let's make things clear, I am not a guru.

That being said, I've been playing Fantasy Football for a few years now and do have a couple trophies in my case. *pats self of back* So, I'm going to give you, my young Padawans, a few tips to get you started.

The most important tip aka #1:
Find someone who knows way more about Football than you do and pick their brain. Ask them about the rules, how scoring works, which positions to draft first, how to make trades, what a waiver is...etc.

READ. There are lots of sports writers and bloggers out there who know their shit. There are also a lot who don't know squat. The more you read, the faster you'll figure out who to listen to. The most important thing to remember here is, it often doesn't matter. Jimmy could tell you that Adrian Peterson is going to have a huge game. So you play him. And then he gets hurt. Or gets shut down. Or just sucks. And he gets you minimal points. These things happen, and no analyst or writer can predict them.

Don't take smack talk personally. So, you're in a league with a bunch of your best friends, and one of them says they're going to stuff you like they stuffed your mom last night. You tell them if they keep posting pansy-ass smack talk like that, you're going to quit and go join a real league. Smack talk can get very crass and ugly. (way uglier than talking about your mom, trust) It's all in fun. If you're easily offended don't play in any league with guys.

Watch the games! This should probably be #2 in importance. Watching is the best way to figure out the game and the players. Also, football just got way more interesting now that you're in a Fantasy league. You have players from many different teams on your team. Say you're a Lions fan (haha) but you have Brees as your QB on your Fantasy team; you now have a reason to watch the Saints game. And this is how your formerly productive Sundays turn into couch days. You want to watch every game so you know who to play in Fantasy.

Have fun. Remember, it's just a game.


  1. Love the link to that photo from last year! I have my first draft on Sunday and I've done NO research...can you say screwed? And it's for my brother's league so major family bragging rights are at stake!

  2. The MAIN reason I play fantasty is for the smack talk.

    And I am totally stealing the I'm going to stuff you like I stuff your mother line.... Brilliant.

  3. The main reason I play fantasy is so I can sit on my couch. I'm so different from the Surferwife.

  4. Excellent tips Cathy - that being said I'm still not signing up this year... maybe next year. I can't even wrap my head around real fooseball yet this year, let alone fantasy.

  5. THANK YOU for tip #3!!! Ladies, if you are gonna play ff, dont be THAT girl that gets all offended when they say terrible things about you/your mom/your sister or describe in detail their bowel movements! haha!! Embrace the smack talk! When else do you have free reign to harrass men about their masculinity and make fun of their weiner?! ;)

  6. Any tips to find a FF league to join? My husband does his through work. It seems like all the guys do their together and don't ask any of the girls. Boo!

  7. Great tips...and much appreciated since this is my first year doing FF.

    I love that stuff your mother line...brilliant.

  8. If it had said my name, I wouldn't have been surprised. I'm so bad at this, yet I love it!!

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