Thursday, August 11, 2011

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

via google
Yes the image is old... 2005 old.. but he's leaping for joy!

When you read the title to my post I'm sure you're hearing the lovely sound of Christmas carols and joy, but that isn't how I'm intending you to read it. [Prepare for me to be bossy] I actually haven't intended for you to even think remotely positive thoughts when you read this either. I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but it's almost football season. You may be saying to yourself, "Kelly, didn't you just say how much you loved Football in your last introduction post?" And you'd be right, I did say that. What I didn't tell you is how much I loath the weeks that lead up to football season. I do count down the days like most fanatics - I've already printed out the schedules for both my beloved Steelers AND the Crimson Tide and posted them on my bulletin board at work. And I do get excited about the pre-season as well as the first official game for both Pro and College teams. This giddiness makes this time of year a happy time, it's this mid point between pre-season and the actual first games that gets me down every year. It's the time I'm suffering in right now.

I'm a graphic designer and I work at a printing company. Each year around this time I start pulling 10+ hour days at work, often 6 days a week. I'm up before the sun and that's just depressing. Why are we so busy? It's football season, or better yet PRE-Football season. Our company churns out 8 high school football programs a year, as well as one local university's football programs as well. Thats 8-9 different programs all of which are at least 100 pages each. No big deal right? WRONG! Someone has to organize all of that information, design all those pages and make sure every single child with the oddest name on earth has his or her named spelled correctly. Please don't name your kid something that looks like Vagina, and say it's pronounced VAG-EE-NA... it's VAGINA!!! That never really happened but every time I have to type a name like Blaketon, or Ashlee, or even Meekel I get a bit annoyed on the inside. Seriously? Whatever happened to classic baby names? Hellooooo, my name is spelled K-E-L-L-Y... not I-E, not E-Y not just I...Y! And that's CLASSIC! Sorry, I'm all for originality, but it's rough to spell unique names correctly. AnyChastyln, this process makes for long days staring at football jerseys, pom poms and clip art of Indians, Trojans and Tigers, OH MY! By the time the first pre-game is played for the pros I'm so over staring at footballs that I could vomit. This really makes me upset because I long for football season... up until the first email comes in from football mom's telling me that Danyelle wants a full page ad. 

I'm in the middle of week one of designing my first book. My eye is twitching as I type this, my hair feels like it's going to fall out and if I have to send my boss one more image to correct tones on I might pass out. I wish I was making this up, but I'm not. It's stressful, and I think my ears might be bleeding. Have you ever envisioned your head actually exploding all over the place? I have... twice today. On top of my normal work load I have to make at least 50+ Momma's happy while constantly typing "We are so proud of you! We Love You!" Over and over and over until I want to poke my eyes out with a pen. We get it, you're proud of your kids, for once I'd like to type.. "We are so proud of you. You are a Senior now. Thankfully you didn't break your leg like we predicted you would. Hehe you're so accident prone."  See what this does to me? It's awful!

With all this you can see why I'm only mildly excited about football the pre-season starting this week! My Steelers meet up with my favorite home team The Redskins. I really wish I was back home in Maryland to catch this game LIVE it would be SO fun. I might be lucky to catch it on TV here locally [ESPN don't let me down]. While I will be wearing my favorite Steelers t-shirt on Friday [Ritual] in celebration of the start of the season my enthusiasm for the game won't start until probably 3 games into the actual season. Scratch that... I'll be amped for game 1 Steelers vs. Ravens, but probably still pissy just the same.

I hate that I get so mentally worn out, so down and so sick of football before it even starts. This has been a cycle for the past 4 years. Mike [my fiance] mentioned going to the Opening Game for Alabama and I didn't get that huge flitter of love in my heart. I'm just too tired and worn down, already. We went to opening game last year and it was AWESOMEEEE! With all that Tuscaloosa, AL has been through since the horrible tornadoes in April of this year, we both know the opening game will be one of hope and benefit to the community. I have no doubt the opening ceremony will be moving for everyone watching. I don't want to miss out on this, but getting overly excited is going to take me some time.

I'm lucky I have 10 minutes to type this up, and then maybe 10 more tomorrow morning to proof read this before I dive back into my book and start making sure that Brytany has the best picture that her mom chose for her ad. And I better be sure I type "PawPaw" instead of Papaw... I can't get those confused. Seriously, what ever happened to Grandpa? Bless my heart... I'm in for along day, ya'll!

So here I am... days away from Pre-Season for the NFL and all I can do is bitch and complain. Sorry to be such a downer... if you need me I'll be at the beach trying to rid myself of all the football induced sand in my VAG-EE-NA!

Signed: Kelly's Disgruntled in Alabama
Roll Tide & Go Steelers!

"I'll have what they're having!"


  1. OMG Kelly....your writing is absolutely hysterical when you're all angsty. I seriously never even thought about it....but you are so right!!! The "original" names have GOT to be a pain in the ass for you! Sometimes I think "I really should have been a graphic designer"....but then I read something like this and think "uh...never mind." Excellent post love!!!

  2. I don't have anything but a giant THAT BLOWS! I can tell you from my experience working with kids how hard it can be to do roll-call these days. Seriously parents?

    Also, there's a woman who I've never met (although I could) but came across her name recently, it's Robin Hood. Not kidding. I'm hoping she married Mr. Hood and her parents didn't do that to her. If so, I'm guessing she's got a good sense of humor!

  3. I am starting to think New Zealand and Sweden have the right idea to ban weird names! Ha!

  4. Two words... Daylee Weeks... true story.... just typed it... bless her little heart!

    An old co-worker once told me that he went to school with a preacher's daughter... her name was Anita... last name... Dick. He said he was dead serious.. still not sure if he was... but it makes for a funny story. ;)

    Thank you for the support ladies... Ally I think my passion is in angst!

  5. You said Vagina :)

    I completely understand why you're already tired of it. Hopefully once it calms down you can begin to enjoy it again.

    he he he . . . Vagina.