Tuesday, August 30, 2011

A new approach to fantasy football...

Tonight is my first fantasy football draft ever. So last night, J and I spent a lot of time talking about which players I should choose. Well...to be accurate...J spent a lot of time talking about stats and predictions and injuries and I spent a lot of time with my eyes glazing over with boredom. I hate stats...they are boring.

So instead of paying attention to J's very calculated and researched draft strategy, I decided to come up with my own method. It's not more scientific...but it's definitely more entertaining.

The draft is not until tonight, so I don't want to give away too many of my choice picks...but I will reveal the multi-step method by which I chose my players...

OK...before I considered who I did like...I crossed Michael Vick off the list. He may be a great quarterback, but he's also a douche...and a dog killer...and I just can't get past that. So he's out.

With that out of the way I moved on to the first consideration which was...are you a Manning? I know some people hate them, but I'm a fan of the Manning brothers...and of Peyton especially. So if you are a Manning, you go to the top of the list.

The second consideration is, of course, hotness. The hotter the player, the higher up they go on the list. Hello, Tony Romo...and Mark Sanchez. But not Tom Brady...because something about that guy just rubs me the wrong way.

Third is first names. The more unique the first name, the more I like you. My current favorite name is Santonio, but I also like BenJarvus.

Fourth...equal credit is given to players who have been involved in a good scandal and players who have been contestants on Dancing With The Stars. If you've been arrested in a stolen car with a prostitute or if you can dance a mean foxtrot, you are on my favorites list.

And lastly...you make the list if you've dated a Kardashian.

I've also decided to award bonus points to one player. During Monday's Jets-Giants pre-season game...Brandon Jacobs walked up to someone on the Jets and punched the guy in the face...while the guy was still wearing his helmet. It takes a special kind of stupid to punch someone in the face while they are wearing a helmet. And that is exactly the kind of stupidity that will keep me entertained throughout football season.

When I told J about this new method of selecting players to draft, he just shook his head and rolled his eyes and told me that with that kind of thinking I was sure to lose. I'm sure he's right...but I will be very entertained in the process.

Anyone else have an interesting method for drafting players?


  1. WooHoo! The Mannings will get my vote. Every. Single. Time!
    But I don't get your aversion to Tom Brady...that boy can rub me any way he likes *wink wink*
    I love your decision making process - it seems very sound to me

  2. Unlike Ms. Fojoy, I totally get the Tom Brady ick. Especially with his current greasy hair look. Just because you're married to a super model doesn't mean you have to turn into European skeeze.

    As for picking my players...no Cowboys or Raiders players. And I try to avoid those in the NFC West so I don't have to root against the Niners. This year though I want them to get the first pick so that might change.

  3. This is my first year, too.

    My plan to is go first by hotness, and second by team colors. That's what my friend does for her March Madness bracket every year, and it pretty much always works for her.

  4. LMAO!!! I love the way you chose your players. If I took more of an active interest in football (or sports in general) I imagine my drafting would be very similar :)