Thursday, September 1, 2011

Lady Luck



The FTS Chicks had our Fantasy Football draft last night. It was at 10:30 PM, EST...which, normally, is not an issue for me. Not only am I up at 10:30, I'm usually eating dinner, scrapbooking, working, or grocery shopping. As most people are brushing their teeth and turning on House Hunters to fall asleep to, I am still in my early evening hours.

Except this week.

Monday started Operation Get on Paris Time (which is 6 hours ahead of us). After 2 European vacations, I finally learned that if I am given the option of getting onto Europe time ahead of schedule, it will make those first few days on vacation so much more pleasant. This means that at 7PM last night, I was fighting to stay awake through dinner. I was not in top form for our draft. In fact, I was completely unconscious and dreaming of Starbucks lemon pound cake at 10:30. I allowed my team, A Few Good Men, to auto-draft...praying that it would not be a complete trainwreck. I woke up this morning (or some of you would say "late last night") to a couple of emails indicating that I had scored a major bout of Beginner's Luck. Hesitantly, I opened Yahoo and looked at my team. My QB? Tom Brady.

Now Brady, who does score high on the Ruggishly Handsome Scale, leaves a little to be desired on the personal side of things. Fathering a baby with Bridget Moynahan and then another with Brazilian supermodel, Gisele...and both of them named after him in some fashion tells me that sometimes there is not enough room in the arena for the fans and his ego. But he also rode a bike for charity in Massachusetts...so I guess there's that.

After that is my wide receiver, Andre Johnson. Johnson, who plays for the Texans, got into a fight with the Titans' cornerback, Cortland Finnegan. Apparently, he pulled off Finnegan's helmet, pushed him to the ground, and punched him twice in the jaw. I give him an F- on sportsmanship. However, in 2003, he founded the Andre Johnson Foundation to benefit children and teens growing up in single parent homes. I'm not sure what he has done with his foundation since establishing it and naming it after himself...I hope more than just collect the tax breaks.

Dez Bryant of the Dallas Cowboys and Mario Manningham of the Giants round out my wide receiver line-up. Bryant was sued this past March for legal fees and the cost of jewelry he took without payment...but the Cowboys was my dad's team growing up so I feel like that balances out the theft. And Manningham apparently had a tiny problem with marijuana in college (c'mon now...who didn't??) and his draft value dropped as a result. I'm going to give Manningham the benefit of the doubt because have you ever met a pot-head with anger in his heart? He is certainly not going to shove another player to the ground and punch him twice in the jowls. Unless there is pizza involved.

Running backs are Ray Rice of the Baltimore Ravens (yay Salt!) and Darren McFadden of the Oakland Raiders (who got a bad rap in the WeeAlly household back in the day). While neither of these players have founded a charity (to the best of my knowledge), they both had to overcome hardships early in life. Rice's father was killed in a drive-by shooting when Rice was a year old and then the uncle that helped raise him was killed by a drunk driver 11 years later. Rice's mother supported her family on the single income from being a special education teacher. McFadden's mom was addicted to drugs when he was a child. So maybe they haven't exactly exceeded in the community category...but they also didn't start on the same line as the rest of us.

Also in my lineup are Mike Thomas of my Beloved Teal (go Jags!) ...and...um...helllooo dimples....and Josh Freeman of Tampa Bay. It seems fitting that my auto-draft should choose players from each of these teams as they equally own a half of my heart.

I am not in the FTS fantasy football league to show off how much I know about football. Because demonstrating everything I know about the sport would take approximately 25 seconds. But I'm in it because I want to know more, be more vested in the games, care about stats and scores. I love a football tailgate like the next chick...but I want to know football the same way I know basketball. And isn't this the perfect place to start?

3 comments:

  1. You'd be surprised how much you will become vested in the games now! It really makes a huge difference. And when your teams sucks (coughNinerscuogh) it's that much more fun to watch the other games.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This was friggin' hilarious. I have Manningham in my other two leagues and I am so pleased to know he is merely a hippy loving pot head now.

    Also? I hope you win our league. I have given up trying to win as I suck ass at Fantasy. So go ahead and take the win when we go head to head.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love that you have a personal opinion about each player on your team! That rocks!!! Maybe next year I'll be brave enough to participate and not too busy. :)

    ReplyDelete