Friday, January 20, 2012

are you ready to ramble?

I always thought I was pretty sporty for a chick.

Not in a get-out-and-run-a-mile-and-play-soccer-and-throw-a-ball-around-and-then-land-a-perfect-triple-Salchow kind of way.  But more like a sit-around-and-drink-beer-and-watch-sports-on-a-big-screen-and-hold-my-own-when-talking-about-trade-rumours-with-a-bar-full-of-dudes kind of way.

I even listen to sports radio!

Yet, when it comes to sitting down to write this blog, week after week, I just cannot think a single coherent, sports-related thought.

So I start polling my husband, Phil for ideas...

ME: Honey...what can I write my sports blog about?

PHIL:  I don't know.  Write about how the Oilers are shitting the bed so bad that we'll probably get the first overall draft pick for the 3rd year in a row.

ME: I think people are probably tired of hearing about our lame-ass hockey team.

PHIL: *shrugs*

ME:  Wait...has any other team ever had 3 consecutive 1st over draft picks in a row before?  *googles NHL draft picks*  Do you know?

PHIL: I would have to look it up, just like you.  Besides, its your your own legwork.

ME:  Only the Quebec Nordiques have done it before, and that was in the 80's.  That could be a blog, right?

PHIL:  Yeah, I guess so.

ME:  But what else would I say about it?

PHIL: *shrugs* What about that hoser skier that just died?

ME:  What about her?

PHIL:   I don't're the sports blogger.

ME:  Pause the TV for a second while I think... ... ...AARGH!  Why couldn't it be the Olympics!?  I could write all day about the freaking Olympics!

Phil just shakes his head and turns back to the TV.

Men are no help when it comes to sports!

And when I do come up with a good idea, I just can't turn it from a blurb to a blog, and then my mind starts to wander...

I could write about how Rob Lowe caused a huge shit storm by tweeting that he heard Peyton Manning was retiring when Peyton Manning had not announced that he was retiring.  But then that gets me thinking about how Mark Wahlberg said that he could have stopped 9/11, which gets me thinking of Donnie Wahlberg and how he's turned from ripped-jean-wearing boy band bad boy to old-semi-balding wannabe serious thespian.

And that's not very sporty.

I could write about my work-out routine and how it's helping me with my poor posture.  But I haven't even looked at a treadmill, nevermind picking up weights, since before Christmas so it would really just sound more like whining about how out of shape I am.

And that's what my everyday blog is for.

So here I am...almost midnight the night before my post is due, and I got nothing.

ME: Honey, what can I call a sports post that talks about how I don't have anything sports-related to write about?

Sorry about that...I'll try to have something for you next time.


  1. I often find myself in the same situation and J is no help either. My friend SJ often pitches in with an idea. But I think this is a good post. Certainly better than skipping the day...and it really made me laugh.

  2. You could have posted pictures of Hall and his grotesque earthworm-like scar! But after that, I'm outta ideas!
    ps - you taught me how to spell Salchow! I'd always imagined it was sowcow. Like it sounds!

  3. I always make Mike read my posts before putting it up on here for fear I'll make a mistake... and I often sit here and feel like I'm grasping at straws for ideas... Heaven help me now that football is almost over... I might have to learn about more sports!

  4. Ah, yes, Rob Lowe. It's sad how many people got their hopes up unnecessarily!

  5. Love it. I think we all go through sports mind numbness! :)