Thursday, March 22, 2012

working for it.

My first initial idea for today's post was to discuss Peyton Manning's new position, his ability to give Tim Tebow a new position and lastly discuss Hines Ward's new journey in life. The more I tried to write something the more it occurred to me what can I say that hasn't already been said. So I will simply say this...

Hines announced his retirement from the NFL on Tuesday. It's bitter sweet for me. I'd love to see him continue to play but my heart has a hard time seeing him in any other uniform other than a Steelers jersey. I am happy that he had such a great and long career and that he is officially able to retire as a Steeler. Something he's always wanted. Thank you Hines for all your hard work with the Steelers, you're still my favorite.

Instead of dwelling on all this current NFL hoopla I figured I should share a bit of what I've been doing for myself. I recently started back into working on my fitness, my health and my well being.  Last year I started working out about this time, not knowing that by the end of April I would be engaged. Talk about something to keep you motivated - and it did. I was getting married in October and knew I wanted to look nice on my wedding day. Realistically I knew I wasn't going to be my goal size in that short of time, instead I kept plugging along using a few of the Beach Body* systems I had purchased and borrowed from friends. The two I used were Chalean Extreme and Chalene Johnson's newest program,  Turbo Fire. Chalean Extreme is the program I was most focused on. I sort of call it P90X for women. It's not geared specifically for women, but while it's just as effective as P90X, I don't feel it's as intense. {Note: I've done P90X but due to being so out of shape I don't think I was able to push myself as hard as I should have, and thus didn't get the results I wanted to - that being said I plan to go back to P90X after this round of my current workout routine}.

Before the wedding I started to do Turbo Fire as a last ditch cardio effort to lose as much weight as I could before the big day. The main issue I had was finding time. I carve out the first hour and a half after each work day for my workouts but when you're planning a wedding you often have to have meetings after work, or scratch items off your to do list. About a month before the wedding the working out stopped and while I maintained my weight loss {music to my seamstress' ears}, I still think I could have done more.

On my wedding day I was confident, but still in the back of my mind worried about how I would look. The day was wonderful and I let go of any worries I had. I knew I couldn't spend the whole day trying to stand a certain way so a roll wouldn't show, or that my arms weren't as ripped as I wanted them to be. I was marrying the man of my dreams and my body was not something to worry about at that time he was and I'm glad I gave myself that pep talk and enjoyed my day with him and loved ones to the fullest.

After the wedding we had a honeymoon in Mexico, this was my main issue, looking good and feeling good on my honeymoon. I guess mother nature was looking out for me {or not}, she sent a hurricane our way and I wasn't able to relax or wear a bathing suit until probably the second to last day that we were there. Nice right? Bottom line by the time our honeymoon rolled around I hadn't worked out in a month and a half and wasn't feeling 100% about my body and of course this effected my mind as well. Throwing caution to the wind and having fun I ate what I wanted, and drank what I wanted while on vacation and returned home happy and OK with my choices.

Holidays rolled around, still no working out. All my hard work was being destroyed day by day, month by month. Finally I decided I had enough of this behavior. I was sluggish, worn down, my jeans were getting too tight. The final draw was getting ready to head out on the town one night realizing none of the jeans that used to be too loose were fitting me at all - they were so tight I had to wear a flowy top just to feel like I had my look pulled together {note: I blame this flowing top trend for part of me weight gain - it's way too easy to just keep eating in one of those. Yes I also blame my own willpower too}. After putting on the flowing top and realizing you could still see my muffin top I reached into my closet and pulled out my "heavy pants". I put them on, they fit like a glove. Crisis for the night averted. Crisis for my mind, only just begun. I was back in the jeans I SWORE I would never wear again, you know until maybe right after I had a baby or something...

I've had all the tools at my home since I started my workout mission. Videos, weights, bands, mats, cardio equipment, food guides, and most importantly, good running shoes. There is nothing stopping me from getting off my butt and walking, jogging, popping in a video to move to - nothing but myself. If I kept up with what I was doing from the day I started P90X I bet you I'd be at my goal weight. But I've fallen off the wagon, and now it's time to get back on.

I'm not just doing this for weight loss. Losing the weight is important to me. I know I sound vain in this post, but it's not just about that. Less weight means better health for me, my knees, my back - my entire body. I carry my weight in my midsection which isn't the best place to carry it. I worry about my health, and my future. I want to not just feel good about myself mentally, but I want to physically feel good as well.

I started Turbo Fire last month, and fell off the wagon again. I wanted to start with the Prep-Course this time around since it would give me a workout program that would last me until my vacation in July. I don't have any real plans for my vacation this year possibly just a trip home. I know me, 1 week off means I will have to really get myself back into the swing of things when I get home to start another program or means of working out. I started with the 2nd month of Turbo Fire Prep Course training at the beginning of this month and thankfully it's slowly starting to feel like habit instead of torture. I'm learning the routines and finally finding my way. I've heard that it takes your mind 6 weeks to finally see a task as a habit. Something you can do every day without even thinking twice about it. I hope that is true. I have a routine. I come home, and immediately change into my workout clothing. I grab my huge cup of water, my wrist watch that counts calories and I head to my workout room where my shoes are waiting for me and pop in the days DVD. I try to not give myself time to talk myself out of it. I want to start working out in the morning, but that may have to wait.

I've started eating better and have tried to enlist myself in a 80/20 Clean Eating program. If I deny myself sweets or junk completely I know it's setting me up for failure. If I try to eat clean 80-90% of the time and give myself treats the other 10-20% I think it's a system I can work with. Thankfully my husband eats whatever I eat, and doesn't complain. He often looks forward to our treat meals once a week where I let myself have something indulgent. He's also great about checking with me about his meals he wants to prepare to be sure I will want to/or can eat them. {Trust me I've been living in the South for over 7 years now, it's sometimes hard to resist a fried temptation now and then.}

I tell you all of this not just to have something to write about, but to hold myself accountable. This journey for me isn't about fitting into a certain size, although the old size 10 jeans I can't seem to let go would be amazing to fit into. I will however settle for the size 12's that are right under them in a storage bin. I know it's silly to hold on to stuff that doesn't fit but every once in a while I look in there and I remind myself I was once that size, and it wasn't in my teens, it was in my early twenties {I blame beer, chicken wings and my lack of saying no to these things}.

I don't plan to show you progress photos, I have taken them for myself but eventually I might show you some before and afters {and check on my blog for updates if you're interested and I don't share them here}. I'm trying to do this for the right reasons, and not as a quick fix. I need a lifestyle change and the only way I can do that is if I tell others and hold myself accountable.  I am surrounded by fit minded women in this group, all of which amaze me everyday with their progress. I want to be able to do the same for myself.

So if you made it this far, thank you for listening!

How many of you are struggling with working out/weight/fitness?

What is your plan? What are you doing to work on this?

Do you have any tips for me?

* I am not a Beach Body coach, nor have I been compensated to talk about their programs. I am just an everyday person that has tried them, liked them and has seen results from them.


  1. It is SO HARD to work out regularly. I don't know how some of my friends do it. When I left my job last Sept, I thought to myself "now I can work out every day!" I have probably worked out less than 10 times since then (yikes!) It's so easy to find excuses, and I like the way you just kind of forced exercise into your routine. I think that's really the best way to do it. Just make it second nature, then you won't be able to live without it. I like your 80/20 rule, too. Never fully deprive yourself of treats!

  2. Confessions of a yoyo loser: It's the hardest thing many of us do in life. I have been doing Jazzercise for 2.5 years and am finally addicted - as in, I go M-F at 7 a.m! and feel cheated if I have an early meeting and have to miss in. Have used off and on for months. It gives you a place to log exercise and food intake with them calculating the calories and weight. You can weigh in and can calculate an optimal number of calories based on current weight and activity level. When I do it faithfully I lose pretty steadily, but I often fall of the recording wagon. Am at the point now that my exercise is shrinking the "inner layer", but I have a nice fat layer sitting on top of the good layer. Got here early on and eventually my weight loss caught up with my streamlining - hope it will happen again this summer.

    It ain't easy, Girl. But we have your back. good luck!!!

  3. I tried with Turbo Fire and I don't know what it is about the program, but I just couldn't get in to it and would fall off around week 3 multiple times. I think everyone's different and Horton works for me (even if he causes me to mute the TV).

  4. HA! Hutch that is too funny that you mute him. He sort of drives me crazy too. I think I'm drawn to Turbo Fire due to my dance background. If I treat the cardio classes as a "dance class" vs. fitness I seem to enjoy it more.

    Webb thank you! And I feel you 100% good luck in your journey. I think my skinny girl is under the layers of fat. Nothing like seeing a 6 pack under your belly rolls, quite annoying! I have that happening currently and it drives me crazy. Jazzercise is sort of something I think I'd love, again with my dance background. Please tell me they have updated it since the 80's ;) kidding. hehe

    Kathryn I always say if I had more time I'd workout more, honestly I think to be truthful I'd just have more time to come up with excuses. The forcing the workout in is all that works for me but I'm glad I figured that out. I want to work out in the AM but it's really hard to get up, I make excuses after work there are none. I also learned to delegate tasks after work to my hubby to help me out. Like... unload the dish washer for me and I'll reload it and cook dinner. Little things like that help me get dinner on the table quicker if I'm cooking after a workout.